The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person? — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv,… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
