I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
“In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.” — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
