The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature. — Larry David Copy Share Image
Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course — Larry David Copy Share Image
I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. — Larry David Copy Share Image
Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. — Larry David Copy Share Image
I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. — Larry David Copy Share Image
You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when… — Larry David Copy Share Image
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so… — Larry David Copy Share Image
