Comedy Quotes · Page 315

When a man begins to be hilarious in a sorrowful way you can bet a million that he is dyeing his hair.

— O. Henry

“Sometimes laughin' is all a body can do, child. It's laugh or lose your mind.”

— Susan Crandall

I know I'm funny. I know how to perform. I know how to hit a joke.

— Janelle James

Most humor comes from truth. In the end, if I can laugh about it, who cares?

— Bianca Del Rio

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

— Dick Gregory

“You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!”

— St. John Morris

I prefer for things to happen serendipitously, but honestly, I also love terrible pickup lines.

— Angela Sarafyan

Thank you for listening to Comedy Bang Bang! My name is Scott Aukerman and I will see you next week.

— Scott Aukerman

Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such history and was so…

— Artie Lange

Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humour. I am proud that I have been able to…

— Richard Pryor

Anything that gets you to release the stress in your life and really laugh is worthwhile. It can heal the planet. It…

— Lucie Arnaz

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

— Jim Gaffigan

I think if anybody had a roll of dice with a lot of money at stake, they would not want Wes Craven…

— Wes Craven

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in…

— Jenny Eclair

Comedy Central is what these young people are viewing. The network speaks to their audience, which is saying, 'Give me fast jokes.…

— Bill Cosby

I never wanted to be a model. I never wanted to be a serious actress. I started off doing comedy. I did…

— Amanda Bynes

I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that…

— Bob Newhart

The more you progress, the more you learn. I try to pay attention to ticket counts, draws, guarantees and bonuses. I look…

— Hannibal Buress

For some reason, comedy just comes easily to me, and I feel like I can do it. I don't have any doubt.…

— Andrea Anders

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many different people…

— Will Ferrell

As a human being, as you go through the course of your day, you might wake up with the shittiest day, and…

— Killer Mike

“I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week…

— Christopher Hitchens

You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're…

— Jim Gaffigan

There's an infectiousness to comedy. It's meant to be shared and spread, so I feel like any message that you're talking about…

— Jaboukie Young-White

If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it's contemporary wit, you know what I'm saying?

— Tracy Morgan

I really like comedy because it is really fun to be in - even though you are playing it straight.

— Ashley Thomas

“Because if there's anything you need to be a physical therapist, it's a sense of humor.”

— Adele Levine

I really think if you take away a character's obstacles then there's no comedy.

— Kunal Nayyar

One inch of joy surmounts of grief a span, Because to laugh is proper to the man.

— Francois Rabelais

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

— Aldous Huxley

… and we are in bed together laughing and we don’t care about anything.

— Charles Bukowski

I like really bad puns - proper, red-top, nasty puns - I find them funny.

— Johnny Flynn

You can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself, but please don’t hurt each other!

— Tommy Wiseau

Self depreciating humour won't win over an employer; if you're not sure of yourself why should they be?

— Whitney Port

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh.

— Tina Fey

I'm not funny ha-ha, but I look for real humour in just about everything I've ever played.

— William Fichtner

It's not at all easy to make people laugh. Kudos to those who can do it so well.

— Huma Qureshi

The things that I have apparently parodied I actually admire,

— Roy Lichtenstein

I don't think anyone gets into comedy to host a baking show.

— Nicole Byer

What you aspire to on a sitcom is the feeling of live comedy.

— John Lithgow