My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
people have a way of laughing at our deams until we make them come true. — Patti Page Copy Share Image
Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh. — Brian Posehn Copy Share Image
Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years it was a splendid laugh! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Never make a joke or try for humor at someone else's expense. In a high-stakes environment, everyone needs to feel safe. — Alan Mulally Copy Share Image
I tried to be a rapper. I tried to make beats before I got into comedy, and that's still one of my… — Jimmy O. Yang Copy Share Image
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where… — Washington Irving Copy Share Image
“I gotta go Seth, so I'll leave you to work on being nerdy and withdrawn.” “It's not as easy as it looks,… — Charlie Fey Copy Share Image
Hosting is an art form. Like acting, singing, or comedy hosting is a craft. It's a delicate dance of timing, the ability… — Todd Newton Copy Share Image
Every man imagines that he will turn his suit like a double agent, that it can be twisted to his will with… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The human comedy is always tragic, but since its ingredients are always the same - dupe, fox, straight, like burlesque skits -… — Dawn Powell Copy Share Image
It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke. — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If you say to me: "Master, it would seem that you weren't too terribly wise to have written these bits of nonsense… — Francois Rabelais Copy Share Image
Somehow that doesn't feel like a natural human thing to do, to go to those dark places, you have to kind of… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
Just look at the cinema itself: It's comprised of lots of movies about graphic novels, and if you're not 20 years old… — Danny Glover Copy Share Image
My teacher at RADA said I was going to have trouble when I left because I wasn't an obvious juvenile lead, although… — Anne Reid Copy Share Image
So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
