So I kept it to myself. Then some of my classmates started to come down to the comedy club, taking a girl… — Chris Tucker Copy Share Image
Once people enjoy what I do, I don't mind if they call me a magician or an illusionist or a hypnotist, entertainer,… — Keith Barry Copy Share Image
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.… — Warren Hutcherson Copy Share Image
Being comedian outside of performing, you're someone who's analyzing life, and thinking about it, and observing so much. In my opinion, it… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling… — Sandra Bernhard Copy Share Image
I think British humour is very cruel, and gay humour is very cruel. I think the two go hand-in-hand and that's why… — Jason Sellards Copy Share Image
The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and… — Denis Norden Copy Share Image
A lot of stand-up is talking about your perspective in the world and your experiences in life. And I think it takes… — Rose Matafeo Copy Share Image
If someone doesn't like a comedian that's fine; a lot of people probably don't like my standup, and that's fine. But I… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains… — Paul Merton Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If you call me a comedian I will be very grateful. I will thank you profoundly. No, I love doing comedy. It's… — Betty White Copy Share Image
When you put comedy in the room it's supposed to be in, you start learning it's a process. Not everything is a… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time.… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'm most proud of my career as a touring comedian and musician. I love doing television, I love selling records, but when… — Trixie Mattel Copy Share Image
A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I just really remember the feeling of being a younger comedian who was kind of an outlier for being experimental and weird… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I also could see myself as a stand-up comedian, a fashion designer (for people of all sizes), a hairdresser, an earnest and… — Denise Duhamel Copy Share Image
When you deal with a comedian who has a specific act, you can't hold 'em back. You got to work with 'em,… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
I'm a lot smarter and thoughtful of a comedian. This market is different than it was. You don't have to have cable… — Joe Torry Copy Share Image
What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
The skill set of pastor and comedian are incredibly similar. You want to affect people. You're good at reading rooms. You're persuasive,… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Every hairstyle I have is funny because my barber is a standup comedian by the slightly unfortunate name of Paul Sweeney. His… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I think when I started doing stand-up properly, at 21, I had a feeling like... I wanted to be a comedian before… — Simon Amstell Copy Share Image
When young comedians ask me for advice that's the one thing I always say is if they're improvisers I'm like do improv,… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke.… — Jim Carrey Copy Share Image
I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do;… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
