Comedian Quotes · Page 34

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

— Andy Borowitz

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

— Margaret Cho

At times, I pity my comedian image. People start laughing seeing me even in funeral processions.

— Johnny Lever

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

— Bob Hope

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled…

— Jon Stewart

If you make a bad movie about stand-up, then comedians will mock you for the rest of your life.

— Judd Apatow

I never predicted that I'd be a comedian, but it was something that came so naturally to me. I just felt good…

— Omar Sy

Comedians have to write to survive because you don't get cast for your beauty.

— Sally Phillips

I had this website that, at one point, I listed myself as 'actor, writer, comedian, and fart enthusiast' just because I thought…

— Thomas Middleditch

Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school.…

— Mindy Kaling

Some people are brilliant at being comedy actors and if you're a comedian I think there's a perception that, if you're acting…

— John Bishop

Everyone who wants to make it in comedy goes to L.A., so a million comedians fight for time on three stages. If…

— Dave Chappelle

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being…

— Chris Rock

I always stayed away from political commentary. First of all, I didn't feel entitled. What I may feel about a candidate, I'm…

— Bob Newhart

I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as…

— Missy Elliot

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge.…

— Gabriel Iglesias

I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a comedian who stole except for when it's been in anger.

— Matt Besser

I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now

— Bob Monkhouse

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

— Jim Gaffigan

If I want to keep working as an actor, I'm going to become a comedian who does fart jokes.

— Peter Sarsgaard

For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want…

— Tatiana Maslany

I think Jimmy Carr is very funny and probably the most industrious comedian I know and I really respect him for that.

— Frank Skinner

I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't…

— Ricky Gervais

I'm a comedian. You have to understand that my brain doesn't work like a politician's brain.

— Beppe Grillo

The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.

— Allen Toussaint

I thought she was the funniest woman, and I believed being a comedian was the most exciting thing you could be.

— Maya Rudolph

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

— Mitch Hedberg

The key to comedy is commitment - if you're afraid, you shouldn't be a comedian.

— Nick Swardson

I am a funny as well as an emotional person. The comedian inside me cries at times while watching a movie.

— Bharti Singh

I am a comedian. You may or may not find me funny, but the fact remains, that I am a comedian.

— Sarah Millican

Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or…

— Doug Benson

Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.

— John Bishop

I always wanted to be a comedian but never thought I'd be a musical comedian.

— Bo Burnham

I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool.

— Cheyenne Kimball

Some performers are brilliant comedians, some are genius musicians, and some just make you happy to be alive. THE BOBS are all…

— Paul Provenza

“...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... . he isn't like this writer or actor or comedian... - YOU FUCKING LIAR.”

— Deyth Banger

There was a time when I was like, 'I'm a dramatic actor,' 'I'm a comedian'... There's no line anymore. You have to…

— Christina Applegate

I really loved what I was doing being creative and being funny as a stand-up comedian.

— Chris Tucker

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

— Bob Hope

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

— Denis Norden