Comedian Quotes · Page 33

As a comedian, I'm like one of those on-the-scene reporters. I will actually go and try to find disasters so I can…

— Paul Provenza

I've been a comedian for a long time so writing and performing is a big part of what I do. If anybody's…

— Colton Dunn

When comedians get successful, the fans that they have aren't the fans they would hang out with. I don't have that problem.

— Chris Hardwick

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

— Andy Borowitz

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

— Hari Kondabolu

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

— Susan Sarandon

I'm a huge Lamb Chop freak because Shari Lewis was a Jewish comedian, and I have a giant Lamb Chop tattoo on…

— Sarah Sherman

Half of being a comedian is knowing how to pace a joke, how to say it, so someone else could be given…

— Janelle James

I have a hard time describing myself as a standup comedian because I don't feel like I'm doing stand up jokes more…

— Patti Harrison

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we…

— Chris Hardwick

Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire…

— Patton Oswalt

Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian; you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to…

— Chris Rock

I used to want to be a war photographer, and I used to want to be a ballerina and a comedian. I…

— Cat Power

The role of a comedian is to go in and make something funny. That might be a situation where I'm writing, a…

— Wyatt Cenac

We were against the war in Vietnam and for voter registration and social issues. Everybody has their choices, and the obligation of…

— Tom Smothers

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he…

— Ricky Gervais

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

— Andy Borowitz

I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor.

— Eddie Murphy

Cinema was my passion and I am sure that if you are talented, nobody can sideline you because you are just a…

— Salim Kumar

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

— George Carlin

If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh.

— Nick Swardson

As a comedian and talk show host, Jon Stewart has been pretty funny. But as a pundit and player in our politics,…

— Jamelle Bouie

Basically, out of the sphere of what I do - being a comedian/writer, and out of the sphere of football, I am…

— David Baddiel

As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a…

— Iliza Shlesinger

The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.

— Jo Brand

I really don't mind being a comedian because I get the chance to make people laugh and I think that's truly a…

— Ali

I was scared of running off to be a comedian and then having to come back with my tail between my legs.

— Paddy McGuinness

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.

— Andy Borowitz

A stand-up comedian who's assaultive and decent and has managed a career that has spanned over five decades deserves a documentary.

— Elvis Mitchell

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

— Artie Lange

I could be a comedian. I could be a gangster. I could play all of those parts, even for the first time...…

— Lil Boosie

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice…

— Woody Allen

I think you're a comedian as soon as you start. I don't think there's a moment where you become a full comic.

— Ari Shaffir

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

— Dave Chappelle

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

— Louis C. K

I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.

— Maz Jobrani

I don't claim to have all the answers; after all, I'm just a comedian who reads a lot.

— Adam Conover

I went to the career adviser when I was 16, and tried to explain that I wanted to be a comedian or…

— Richard Herring

What great comedians, great comic writers, great comic actors do is that they just read the headlines with the right eyebrow position…

— David Salle

I classify myself as a comedian, but I'm one of those comedians who also acts so that I can split the difference…

— Chris Gethard