Comedian Quotes · Page 31

When you get on a comedy show, people assume you're a comedian. I'd say I'm more of a comedy nerd.

— Ty Burrell

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Dick Van Dyke was my first idol. He's an amazing physical comedian, like a classic clown, but also very smart and not…

— Douglas Wood

Well, first of all, I love Ilana Glazer. As a friend and as a comedian, I love her brand of humor. I…

— Michelle Buteau

Appurv Gupta brings you a unique point of view that no other comedian in India does. Well worth a watch.

— Papa CJ

Every comedian feels out an audience. As you're telling jokes, if they're not laughing at this, you change the subject.

— Jackie Mason

Many comedians - both male and female - do have an "I will never date another comedian" rule.

— Chris Gethard

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

— Nicholas Sparks

Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic…

— Matt Lucas

You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is…

— Woody Allen

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off.…

— Louie Anderson

For a long time I thought I knew for sure who I was. I grew up in New Orleans and became a…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't…

— Will Ferrell

I wanted to be a tragedienne. I only wanted sad parts. When mother read the press notices when I was on the…

— Dorothy Gish

I'm a comedian. I can't get a spray tan. I can't get a weave. I can't get my teeth done. Can you…

— Alan Carr

Growing up, I didn't really watch a lot of standup. I didn't know you could be a low-energy comedian. It was something…

— Dan Mintz

But I started out as a comedian doing sketch work where you get to write, produce and direct your own stuff.

— Sam Seder

The job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but a lot of my interests are in politics so I'm going…

— Nish Kumar

Comedians can articulate some important and profound ideas that address a lot of the hypocrisy we're inundated with (in the media).

— Ted Alexandro

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.

— Dave Chappelle

The one thing that's depressing as a comedian to realize is that rock stars get groupies, and comedians don't.

— Matt Besser

Growing up, I loved comedy even before I knew that you could be a stand-up comedian.

— Katherine Ryan

Every comedian wants to play the London Comedy Store, and I was no exception.

— Nigel Ng

When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect.

— David Steinberg

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

— Jim Gaffigan

I think comedians have a function in society, which is to make fun of our icons.

— Anonymous

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human…

— John Oliver

I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.

— George Carlin

I'm a clown. I'm a comedian. Comedy, by design, is a place to explore the subconscious.

— Ramy Youssef

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

— Johnny Vegas

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

— Carlos Mencia

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

— Norm MacDonald

I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian.

— Ricky Gervais

I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write.

— Jim Gaffigan

I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

— Robyn Hitchcock

If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

— Paul Merton

I know who Dick Gregory is; I knew what his accomplishments are. I certainly knew him as a comedian and an activist.

— Joe Morton

I wanted to be a director and comedian and my plan was to go to NYU. I wanted to be in UCB.

— Finn Wolfhard

To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.

— Matthew Perry

“A comedian's life is truly a comedy in itself. The majority cannot take themselves seriously.”

— Mwanandeke Kindembo