“While it is beneficial for a child to feel bad when anticipating a loss of connection with those who are devoted to… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“In attunement, it is the infant who leads and the mother who follows. “Where their roles differ is in the timing of… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“I see so many situations where a child is in the midst of plenty, a virtual banquet spread out before him, but… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“The first reason why peer-oriented children have to harden emotionally is that they have lost their natural source of power and self-confidence… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Attacking family members is all too typical of peer-oriented children, leaving parents and siblings wounded. In most cases, the attacks will not… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Violent atrocities by teenagers against one another have become the stuff of headlines: at Columbine High School in Colorado; in Tabor, Alberta;… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“It is easy to misinterpret the child's counterwill as a drive for power. We may never be fully in control of our… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Walking through the halls of my son's high school during lunch hour recently, I was struck by how similar it felt to… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“The hardcore drug addicts that I treat, are, without exception, people who have had extraordinarily difficult lives. The commonality is childhood abuse.… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Some parents resist the idea of ADD for fear of seeing their children labeled and categorized. They do not like the idea… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“There is yet another reason why peer-oriented kids are insatiable. In order to reach the turning point, a child must not only… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“The nuclear family is said to be the basic unit of society but is itself under extreme pressure. Divorce rates have soared.… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“The fact is, we in this society are often quite removed from our own emotional reality.” — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Many adults have not attained maturity — have not mastered being independent, self-motivated individuals capable of tending their own emotional needs and of respecting… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“If a mother has eight children, there are eight mothers. This is not simply because of the fact that the mother was different in… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Without attachment, the parent succeeds at most in cowing a child into obedience, at the price of grave damage to the relationship and to… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Attachment is our connection with the world. In the earliest attachment relationships, we gain or lose the ability to stay open, self-nurturing and healthy.… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“So what you've actually got is traumatized children. When children are traumatized that affects how they feel about themselves, which is deeply ashamed because… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“Even without world wars, revolutions and emigration, siblings growing up in the same home almost never share the same environment. More accurately, brothers and… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“We think that there are people who are normal over here, and then there’s the pathological ones who have depression, anxiety, addiction or schizophrenia… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
“One cannot get much more vulnerable than to expose oneself psychologically. To share oneself with another and then be misunderstood or rejected is, for… — Gabor Maté Copy Share Image
