Some ladies got the shower massager. Oh, man, you better buy her a diamond 'cause if she got a shower massager, she… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains. — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife. — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
![“I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George]…” quote by Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/af2/jay-mohr-4777_construction_i-m-telling-you-i-could-teach-at-a-unive_29549.jpg)
![“My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin,…” quote by Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/888/jay-mohr-4777_accepting_my-wife-and-i-have-long-discussions-abou_105382.jpg)
