Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1'', I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
There's a fake Facebook me. There's a fake me Twittering. Sometimes, when it was at the height of right-wing nonsense picking on me, there… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I think people are very cynical with actors trying to tell them what to believe in, or lobbying for any kind of changing of… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Not that I was ever an asshole but I used to be much more of a bulldozer. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Evil is in the face of every frat guy that ever raised a beer cup and went "whoooooo!" — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
