They didn't have to be funny — they were father jokes.

Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes.

— Anonymous

“One show, I did a benefit for a feminist organziation…So it's all feminsts. Gloria Steinem is sitting right up front. I walked out and…

— Wanda Sykes

I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

— Ricky Gervais

When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red…

— Helen Hayes

I remember trying to be funny, and both of my parents were terribly funny. My father was also very dignified, but my mother was…

— Jack Lemmon

I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my…

— Louis C. K

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.

— Timothy J. Russert

“The anecdote was funny, but as my father gazed across the river at the university of his youth, his Russian life was in his…

— Paullina Simons

Scratch any father, you find / Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, / Believing change is a threat.

— Phyllis McGinley

I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war.

— George W. Bush

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

— Jerry Seinfeld

I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in the news…

— Bill Maher

The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable…

— Phyllis McGinley

If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's Day tradition…

— Michael Showalter

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

— Erika Cosby