You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“His granny taught him to read, see. I reckon it overheated his mind.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The horsemen came closer. Vimes was not good at horsemen. Something in him resented being addressed by anyone eight feet above the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“In front of her the cat Greebo, glad to be home again, lay on his back with all four paws in the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Esk, of course, had not been trained, and it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A dwarf who can't get the hang of metal? That must be pretty unique." "Pretty rare, sir. But I was quite good… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes."… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Young Sam at this point had tired of petticoat company and had drifted over to an elderly goblin man who was working… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“That --ing zombie is going to end up on the end of a couple of --ing handy and versatile kebab skewers,' said… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“ Click. The salamander flared, etching the room with searing white light and dark shadows. Otto screamed. He fell to the floor,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“How big a war?" "A worse one than the one fifty years ago, I expect," said Cheery. "I don't recall people talking… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Oh, good grief," said Vimes. "Look, it's quite simple, man. I was expected to go "At last, alcohol!", and chugalug the lot… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Have - have you got an appointment?' he said. 'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?' 'I've got an… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Winder's mind felt even fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He'd been… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Two uniformed trolls were standing in front of Sergeant Colon's high desk, with a slightly smaller troll between them. This troll was… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst! — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all possible outcomes… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share
