Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse…

“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…

— Terry Pratchett

“Several times he had to flatten himself against the shelves as a thesaurus thundered by. He waited patiently as a herd of Critters crawled…

— Terry Pratchett

“The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was…

— Terry Pratchett

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

— Terry Pratchett

“Vimes shook some lather off the blade. "Hah! I bet they have. Tell me, Willikins, did you fight much when you were a kid?…

— Terry Pratchett

“There was a hell for blasphemers. There was a hell for disputers of rightful authority. There were a number of hells for liars. There…

— Terry Pratchett

I think I work much harder on the children's books. I suppose I enjoy that. I find it interesting that although there are more…

— Terry Pratchett

“Don't wish , Miss Tick had said. Do things.”

— Terry Pratchett

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

— Terry Pratchett

“Her books on alchemy were marvellous objects, every page a work of the engraver's art, but they nowhere contained instructions like "Be sure to…

— Terry Pratchett

“It was the way he wore the place. You expected him any moment to break into the kind of song that has suspicious rhymes…

— Terry Pratchett

Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.

— Terry Pratchett

“Sacharissa saw a movement. Boddony had pulled his axe out from under the bench. It was a traditional dwarf axe. One side was a…

— Terry Pratchett

“There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load behind him…

— Terry Pratchett

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

— Terry Pratchett