Well, MacKenzie, YOU’RE the expert on toilets! It’s only…

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

— John Swartzwelder

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

— Jessica Hahn

It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.

— Uma Thurman

It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such…

— Dave Barry

Lasorda's standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in the toilet…

— Steve Garvey

Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from…

— Jim Gaffigan

He was a man too busy to flush toilets.

— Mona Simpson

Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So…

— Alexander Ovechkin

If all you do is talk crap, I'll just flush the toilet.

— Behdad Sami

Freshly brainwashed from rehab, I carry the bottle into the bathroom. I hold it up to the light. See the pretty bottle? Isn't it…

— Augusten Burroughs

Typically, when you flush the toilet, you shouldn't hear it gurgling in the shower.

— Bryan Baeumler

If shit happens, flush the toilet

— Author Name

Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never…

— Anonymous

In the development business doing something for both women and the environment is the equivalent of holding a royal flush in poker.

— Abhijit Banerjee

You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.

— Anonymous