“How can something that doesn’t exist in physical form have influence over the things that do?” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can… — Scott Adams Art Copy Share Image
As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's. — Scott Adams Brain Copy Share Image
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert:… — Scott Adams Dilbert Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Creator Copy Share Image
If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What does it mean to feel something similar to the way God feels? Is that like saying a pebble is similar to… — Scott Adams Love Copy Share Image
“I have no reason to believe humans evolved with the capability to understand their reality. That capability was not important to survival.… — Scott Adams Evolution Copy Share Image
“The rest of the universe is like the coin. The events of the past appear to cause the present, but every time… — Scott Adams Existence Copy Share Image
I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be… — Scott Adams Argument Copy Share Image
“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time… — Scott Adams Eating right Copy Share Image
If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude. — Scott Adams Attitude Copy Share Image
“the past exists only in your mind,” he said. “Likewise, the future exists only in your mind because it has not happened.” — Scott Adams Future Copy Share Image
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the… — Scott Adams Furniture Copy Share Image
If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma… — Scott Adams Best quotes Copy Share Image
“Generous people take care of their own needs first. In fact, doing so is a moral necessity. The world needs you at… — Scott Adams Generous people Copy Share Image
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab. — Scott Adams Cities Copy Share Image
“Few things are as destructive and limiting as a worldview that assumes people are mostly rational.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more. — Scott Adams Crackpots Copy Share Image
“Simplification is often the difference between doing something you know you should do and putting it off.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Decision making Copy Share Image
Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting. — Scott Adams Attraction Copy Share Image
“Our system requires a continuous supply of highly capable people who are so disgruntled with their jobs that they are willing to… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is in fact just a difference in definitions.” — Scott Adams Argument Copy Share Image
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. — Scott Adams Boss Copy Share Image
“Passion feels very democratic. It is the people’s talent, available to all. It’s also mostly bullshit.” — Scott Adams Passion Copy Share Image
The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol. — Scott Adams Alcohol Copy Share Image
“One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard goes something like this: If you want success, figure out the price,… — Scott Adams Advice Copy Share Image
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove… — Scott Adams Approach Copy Share Image
The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give… — Scott Adams Buyers Copy Share Image
One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about… — Scott Adams Artist Copy Share Image
“I’m giving you permission to take care of yourself first, so you can do a better job of being generous in the… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
