A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitches. It's as handy as bringing Homer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look… — P. J. O'Rourke Animal Copy Share Image
I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is… — P. J. O'Rourke Bachelors Copy Share Image
I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke April Copy Share Image
A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Actually, there is no way of making vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is to vomit in… — P. J. O'Rourke Amusing Copy Share Image
Kabul is a walled city, which sounds romantic except the walls are pre-cast reinforced concrete blast barriers, 10 feet tall and 15… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example -… — P. J. O'Rourke Bombs Copy Share Image
In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being… — P. J. O'Rourke Investing Copy Share Image
If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed… — P. J. O'Rourke Automobile Copy Share Image
All previous populist movements were demanding things from governments, whereas the Tea Party is saying, 'Give us less, go away.' That's heartening… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia,… — P. J. O'Rourke Asia Copy Share Image
I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of… — P. J. O'Rourke Code Copy Share Image
If you're doing a column, you kind of have to. Like in the back of Sports Illustrated, Rick Reilly has to find… — P. J. O'Rourke Approach Copy Share Image
A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether… — P. J. O'Rourke Ghetto Copy Share Image
I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're… — P. J. O'Rourke Bachelors Copy Share Image
Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Humans have trouble with economics, as you may have noticed, and not just because economic circumstances sometimes cause them to starve. Humans… — P. J. O'Rourke Attention Copy Share Image
If we want the whole world to be rich, we need to start loving wealth. In the difference between poverty and plenty,… — P. J. O'Rourke Capitalism Copy Share Image
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get… — P. J. O'Rourke Behavior Copy Share Image
Where self-interest is suppressed, it is replaced by a burdensome system of bureaucratic control that dries up the wellsprings of initiative and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on… — P. J. O'Rourke Climate Copy Share Image
Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/817/p-j-o-rourke-184_investing_you-ll-note-that-politicians-no-longer-s_1031128.png)
![“Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether you go to prep school or public school or ghetto school or rich suburban school. And actually, it spun off from a Kurt Vonnegut quote.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/a43/p-j-o-rourke-184_ghetto_finally-one-night-we-were-smoking-pot-wi_324321.png)
![“Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers had voted for [Ronald] Reagan, and they were going, "Gosh! We need a Republican! Does anybody know a Republican? Wait a minute! I think P.J.'s a Republican!"” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/fe1/p-j-o-rourke-184_80s_then-basically-what-was-happening-was-th_1600927.png)
