A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've decided that my motto in life is "Get off my lawn." It's the right answer to everything. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Washington journalists can afford to live almost as well as people who work for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It's impossible to be alive and safe. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life - this much… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I do, I say so. That's the only way out of that. If there are three words that need to be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Greatest generation came through some stuff that we can't even imagine - the Depression, World War I - and all they wanted… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
