The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates… — P. J. O'Rourke Angel Copy Share Image
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil.… — P. J. O'Rourke Church Copy Share Image
Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But… — P. J. O'Rourke Abu Copy Share Image
Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as… — P. J. O'Rourke Corporate Copy Share Image
The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of… — P. J. O'Rourke Assault Copy Share Image
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Chance Copy Share Image
Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency… — P. J. O'Rourke Alone Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. AND… — P. J. O'Rourke Democracy Copy Share Image
TV ushered in the age of postliteracy. And we have gone so far beyond that. I mean, what with the Internet and… — P. J. O'Rourke Age Copy Share Image
The District of Columbia is an extreme example of disconnect between financial input and educational outcome. Unfortunately, extreme is not the same… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and… — P. J. O'Rourke Conservatism Copy Share Image
I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like… — P. J. O'Rourke Christ Copy Share Image
Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a libertarian I believe we should have a federal government simple and circumscribed enough to be run by an average, dull,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson… — P. J. O'Rourke Book Copy Share Image
You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
And worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. This is especially true if we're careful to pick the… — P. J. O'Rourke Anxiety Copy Share Image
I wonder if it changes the nature of a society for beauty to be so common. Maybe in Vietnam "She has a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of… — P. J. O'Rourke Class Copy Share Image
The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've… — P. J. O'Rourke Giving Copy Share Image
There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound… — P. J. O'Rourke British Copy Share Image
I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding… — P. J. O'Rourke Family Copy Share Image
Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously… — P. J. O'Rourke Baseball Copy Share Image
I've only been to New Zealand once, about 1989. It was incredibly beautiful, kind of like the ideal of where I live… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that… — P. J. O'Rourke Ashtrays Copy Share Image
![“I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/1cd/p-j-o-rourke-184_christ_i-had-really-not-been-out-of-the-united_1112120.png)
![“In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson High School. But by the time the [book-length] high-school yearbook came around, he didn't want to be involved.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/c07/p-j-o-rourke-184_book_in-1970-or-71-early-in-the-magazine-mich_2560004.png)
![“I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/346/p-j-o-rourke-184_amount_i-think-in-the-bill-clinton-era-if-peopl_1906545.jpg)
