God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. — Mark Twain Attention Copy Share Image
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
The late Bill Nye once said, 'I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. — Mark Twain Language Copy Share Image
What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to… — Mark Twain Catholic Copy Share Image
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the… — Mark Twain Constitution Copy Share Image
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not… — Mark Twain Body Copy Share Image
“Nothing exists; all is a dream. God—man—the world—the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars—a dream, all a dream; they have no… — Mark Twain Astronomy Copy Share Image
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable… — Mark Twain Comedies Copy Share Image
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe… — Mark Twain Acquaintance Copy Share Image
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through… — Mark Twain Friend Copy Share Image
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have seen an entire family lifted out of poverty and into affluence by the simple boon of a broken leg. I… — Mark Twain Accidents Copy Share Image
“ODE TO STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS, DEC’D And did young Stephen sicken, And did young Stephen die? And did the sad hearts thicken,… — Mark Twain Cold world Copy Share Image
Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A religion that comes of thought, and study, and deliberate conviction, sticks best. The revivalized convert who is scared in the direction… — Mark Twain Ashamed Copy Share Image
“It seems a pity that the world should throw away so many good things merely because they are unwholesome. I doubt if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Now it is true that I could have learned without a teacher, but it would have been risky for me, because of… — Mark Twain Autodidact Copy Share Image
“The boys were amazed that I could make such a poem as that out of my own head, and so was I,… — Mark Twain Creativity Copy Share Image
It is human life. We are blown upon the world; we float buoyantly upon the summer air a little while, complacently showing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been. — Mark Twain Education Copy Share Image
We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us… — Mark Twain Clothes Copy Share Image
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten — Mark Twain Diplomacy Copy Share Image
“The most important days in your life are the day you were born…and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain Important days Copy Share Image
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface — Mark Twain Dinner Copy Share Image
If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser… — Mark Twain Chicago Copy Share Image
Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.” — Mark Twain Humor Copy Share Image
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey. — Mark Twain Creation Copy Share Image
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“There is no easy or quick plan to happiness, there is no single spot where you can start. Where you are right… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man. — Mark Twain Father Copy Share Image
“When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama.” — Mark Twain Dog Copy Share Image
“There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about. -- Huck Finn” — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
