“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Behind every great man Copy Share Image
“If you live life on your own terms, people will definitely not understand you” — Josh Stern Life Copy Share Image
“If you're going to walk down the aisle together, best to go single file” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“'Having' Your Cake…a little perverted… 'Eating' it too…a lot perverted!” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Eggshells Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing…as long you're delicious” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1” — josh stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady...then stick my foot out” — Josh Stern Chivalry Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The line forms on the right, but I prefer the chaos on the left” — josh stern Chaos Copy Share Image
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass” — Josh Stern Shortened Copy Share Image
“If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“if you're not part of the problem, you're not ambitious enough” — Josh Stern Ambition Copy Share Image
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing…” — Josh Stern Hate Copy Share Image
“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season” — Josh Stern Aging Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die…mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door” — Josh Stern Relationship Copy Share Image
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear” — Josh Stern Blind date Copy Share Image
“Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert” — Josh Stern Brilliant Copy Share Image
“Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“You'll never know what psychopathic heights you're capable of, just lying there on the sofa” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
