“YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK FROM THE TOILET" ” — Josh Stern Horse Copy Share Image
“Ever feel like dialing 911 is just simply not enough, and you really need to speak to someone on the Supreme Court...?” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Checkers Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light… for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner” — Josh Stern Drinking Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat performance” — Josh Stern Behavior Copy Share Image
“My greatest fault is trying to stuff the baggage of an impossible situation into the trunk of an elegant solution” — Josh Stern Baggage Copy Share Image
“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a… — Josh Stern Fish Copy Share Image
“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen…..Treat me like a queen and off with your head” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Animal Copy Share Image
“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried” — josh stern Bliss Copy Share Image
