You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is...about couscous. — Jim Norton Badass Copy Share Image
I love everything about Boston. The women are phenomenal, they're all dirty. It's just a really great place to do comedy. — Jim Norton Boston Copy Share Image
Everyone has a reason why their particular sacred cow is the sacred cow to be honored. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I'd like to get my own TV show on, whether it's a talk show or a comedy, that I write. — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
You know, a comedian's comedian is just that - it's a guy who's original and funny and can make comics laugh. — Jim Norton Comedian Copy Share Image
People say that Americans trends are transient, but the one activity we never seem to tire of is being outraged. Boy, do… — Jim Norton Being Copy Share Image
That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim? — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I have cowlicks, so my hair has always been a source of torture for me. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I don't think any comedy is ever shocking. I don't buy that. That's just what people brand it, when someone is saying… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Wherever I go, there is definitely my audience. I would say in some places there's more of them than others, but it's… — Jim Norton Audience Copy Share Image
You can't apologize for who you are on a stage, you can reveal who you are but don't apologize because that's begging… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
When it comes to stand-up, people feel this need to voice their objection through groaning or being offended. It's really irritating... I… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Lenny Bruce did clean TV. You have to be able to do that, I think, to succeed because if you want to… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I don't watch too much television because I want to write something, and you never want to be influenced by other things… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Trevor Noah is a great, relevant young comic, and Comedy Central is smart to stand by him. — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood. — Jim Norton Dumpsters Copy Share Image
I get away with 10 times more on 'Leno' than I would on any other show. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I'm not really great at writing things down unless for a roast or a particular event. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
For me, a good comedy town is filled with people on the verge of a riot. They need something to relieve the… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Anything you can do that's self-destructive in Vegas, whatever that is, I do it. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey. — Jim Norton Boston Copy Share Image
If I leave the mike in the stand, my hands absolutely move more. I'm not sure if it's a conscious thing. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD. — Jim Norton Funny Copy Share Image
The media is a very necessary thing in our country to keep people honest. — Jim Norton Country Copy Share Image
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
Comics who consider themselves 'mavericks' or think the crowd doesn't get them are normally lousy comics. — Jim Norton Comic Copy Share Image
Every comic says things that are going to offend someone, so we all have to defend each other with this stuff. — Jim Norton Comic Copy Share Image
Anyone who can't tell the difference between a joke and hate speech is just stupid. — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Here's the rule of thumb: When the entire family looks like the unibomber, they're against gay marriage. — Jim Norton Family Copy Share Image
I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated. — Jim Norton Baby Copy Share Image
I know I'm funny, and I like to be in front of people, and the fact that I'm good at that. It's… — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
Google is not my friend. I've been way too open in my career. Google has killed any shot I have on the… — Jim Norton Career Copy Share Image
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester? — Jim Norton Birth Copy Share Image
I once had a therapist fall asleep on me. That really wrecks your self-esteem. — Jim Norton Esteem Copy Share Image
Americans have always been inconsistent and kind of fake with outrage, but we've just slipped totally upside-down. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I think people like to label everything. I just think it's comfortable. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
Realize that doing comedy is only going to make your depression worse. — Jim Norton Comedy Copy Share Image
I never expect anything. The more good things that happen the better, but I never expect anything. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
