I still have to work paycheck to paycheck. Being in show business doesn't indicate that you're a 'success,' in my opinion. — Jen Kirkman Being Copy Share Image
I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome… — Jen Kirkman Butterscotch Copy Share Image
I try to minimize the noise, and I don't use Facebook except for my fan page, and I don't look at anything.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“improv and child rearing are not so different. Both are jobs that people volunteer for and complain about endlessly, and they bore… — Jen Kirkman Child rearing Copy Share Image
Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around… — Jen Kirkman Energy Copy Share Image
“Death is like getting a ride to the airport. Sure, someone can escort you to the curb, but it’s against the law/laws… — Jen Kirkman Death Copy Share Image
“Sadly, I can’t say that I’ve grown out of my urges to do things because I think that technically, if I were… — Jen Kirkman Photography Copy Share Image
We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like… — Jen Kirkman Crime Copy Share Image
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the… — Jen Kirkman Best way Copy Share Image
I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to… — Jen Kirkman Kids Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel like if two parents were given $100, and a child-free person was given $100, everyone would assume that the… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“The bottom line is that the choices we make often make sense to us but can confuse others. Somebody is always going… — Jen Kirkman Bottom line Copy Share Image
I love being on the road, but to make a living as a road comic, you have to be on it most… — Jen Kirkman Being Copy Share Image
Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
It's like, "Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen." Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
A lot of relationships have ended for me in my 20s, because I knew that eventually those people would wanna settle down… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try… — Jen Kirkman Balance Copy Share Image
Have you ever tried to talk to a baby or a toddler? They never look you square in the eyes, they know… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I did buy a new piece of furniture so it's like, "Oh, that's something new." But generally my goals are made in… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'm not like Woody Allen like, "Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh." I'm just high-strung. So I do… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Improv requires one thing I lack that I think most mothers need - the basic instinct to put someone else first. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“I grew up on a solid diet of The Golden Girls. It wasn’t just a sitcom to me—it was a blueprint for… — Jen Kirkman Golden girls Copy Share Image
I'm very big into just feeling good and doing what I want; I'm not very calculated or thoughtful about my moves. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have… — Jen Kirkman Child Copy Share Image
My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out. — Jen Kirkman Education Copy Share Image
I'm just going to go to schools and give inspirational speeches about our bodies. I'll just wear flowing dresses and talk way… — Jen Kirkman Body Copy Share Image
When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I… — Jen Kirkman Compromise Copy Share Image
I want to re-visit everything. We're people and we're so different. I think it would just be nice if it wasn't just… — Jen Kirkman Being nice Copy Share Image
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that "back to school" feeling ingrained in me so that… — Jen Kirkman August Copy Share Image
I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“I do not like being called “young” by someone who is only a couple of years older than I am, because what… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Let's say I was like, "I'm going to write a book this year," which I'm not. Let's just say that was it.… — Jen Kirkman Book Copy Share Image
“Stretch pants and beach cover-ups are enablers. They’ll never tell you the truth like a pair of jeans that won’t go up… — Jen Kirkman Fashion Copy Share Image
![“Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around [winter] time of year.” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/581/jen-kirkman-2547_energy_even-if-it-s-l-a-and-it-s-warmer-we-re-n_1797406.jpg)
![“My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/024/jen-kirkman-2547_education_my-mother-was-like-what-did-they-teach-y_1235896.jpg)
