He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date. — Edith Massey Copy Share Image
Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers?? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself back together again and stupidly take another… — From LOVE And SEX Movie Copy Share Image
“Number four—world domination. Number five—always be myself. Number six—get a haircut. Number seven— convince Kenzie to fall in love with me, get… — Erin Lynn Copy Share Image
My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not… — Melissa Rivers Copy Share Image
Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
[Albert] Schweitzer thus carved out his own path through the first half of this century, a lonely and learned giant amidst the… — N. T. Wright Copy Share Image
Everyone has their own road they to travel in life, some just have more pot holes than others.Mine is under construction with… — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
'Sit Here and Cry' was one of the first songs I wrote with that overdramatic sarcastic dry sense of humor, which is… — Aubrie Sellers Copy Share Image
This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image