“I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like really bad puns - proper, red-top, nasty puns - I find them funny. — Johnny Flynn Copy Share Image
“I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
“If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.” — Peter Wisan Copy Share Image
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
“It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here?” — Tim Burton Copy Share Image
“I want to roll my eyes, but I'm pretty soon they're going to get stuck in the back of my head, and… — Lauren Morrill Copy Share Image
Let's say that what's out there is a narrative. Often enough, the picture plays with the question of what actually is happening.… — Garry Winogrand Copy Share Image
“Khione’s eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs—literally. Halfway up,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you.… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
I say 'as it were' or 'so to speak' too often because puns and double entendres keep insinuating themselves into my consciousness… — Guy Gavriel Kay Copy Share Image
I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really… — Karin Slaughter Copy Share Image
“the new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or,… — Salman Rushdie Copy Share Image
“If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank… — Leviak B. Kelly Copy Share Image
“It is the observer of the pun that makes it, my dear Brumm. Of course, when the word is distorted, as in… — John Davidson Copy Share Image
“Look at the first arch in a human and a shark, and you find a very similar state of affairs: jaws.” — Neil Shubin Copy Share Image
“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You make me ride a horse, you get unbridled puns.” “That’s clever, I approve.” “Thank you.” Ty said” — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest. — Jason Segel Copy Share Image
“I tried to think of puns that might make my father laugh one more time, and I looked at the stars.” — Morgan Matson Copy Share Image
“It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so… — Django Wylie Copy Share Image
