Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.' — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“We owe Clint Eastwood a debt of thanks. Not only because it was truly a hilarious twelve minutes of improvised "awesome" in… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
![“[Stump speeches] are to oratory what a stump is to a tree.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/5fc/jon-stewart-455_communication_stump-speeches-are-to-oratory-what-a-stu_2388271.jpg)
![“I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/62a/jon-stewart-455_corruption_i-have-become-increasingly-unnerved-by-t_1445028.jpg)
![“The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have access to these people, we don't have access. We don't go to dinners we don't have cocktail parties. We don't you know, you've seen what happens when one of us ends up at the…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/2cc/jon-stewart-455_access_the-frustration-of-our-the-daily-show-is_3100466.jpg)
