Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is…(seriously thinking about it)…%#@&! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims there are no homosexuals in Iran, just like there are no gay conservatives in the US. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Bill Russell, a famous philosopher from Boston Celtics once "When things go bad, things go bad." The [Iraq] war was terribly mismanaged-it… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In what is perhaps the strangest turn in the President's efforts to rally support, he agreed that Iraq is just like Vietnam,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
There's a disconnect there between - you're telling me this [war in Iraq] is fight of our generation, and you're going to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking points of… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think that's why they're so really - here's the disconnect. It's sort of this odd and I've always had this problem… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't… — Jon Stewart Copy Share
![“[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/7b5/jon-stewart-455_democracy_if-president-bush-is-right-about-democra_2094054.jpg)
![“Bill Russell, a famous philosopher from Boston Celtics once "When things go bad, things go bad." The [Iraq] war was terribly mismanaged-it was terribly mismanaged.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/2b7/jon-stewart-455_bad-things_bill-russell-a-famous-philosopher-from-b_2537338.jpg)
![“There's a disconnect there between - you're telling me this [war in Iraq] is fight of our generation, and you're going to increase troops by 10 percent. And that's gonna do it. I'm sure what [George W.Bush] would like to do is send 400,000 more troops there, but he can't, because he doesn't have…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/3b3/jon-stewart-455_fighting_there-s-a-disconnect-there-between-you-r_1649094.jpg)
![“I think that's why they're so really - here's the disconnect. It's sort of this odd and I've always had this problem with the rationality of it. That the President [George W.Bush] says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/5dd/jon-stewart-455_baghdad_i-think-that-s-why-they-re-so-really-her_1190718.jpg)
