A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As we watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, all of the commentators said the same thing: 'One of these people… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson also said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A Democratic congressman said that he worries that the IRS scandal might have a chilling effect on the IRA and that they… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Olympics start on Friday, and Russia is implementing the most intensive security in Olympics history. During the games, the government will… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know, something like 90 people who have now filed to run for governor in this recall election. They say there could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush's policies, saying that the world is… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Political analysts say that President Bush's re-election strategy is to try and convince Americans that he's a war president. I don't get… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Con artists are using Obamacare confusion to sign people up for fake health insurance. The scammers lure victims with false promises like,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mars rover Curiosity has sent back images of some odd things on the surface of Mars, and some people think they… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“They were going crazy in Kansas. People were up to 9 p.m. I think that was the greatest thing to happen to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we're getting in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Last night, we had the first gubernatorial debate. Some people are criticizing Schwarzenegger for not going. They say Arnold goes around telling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When we finally have this recall election in October, there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. And you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. Have they thought… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you're a car salesman, and someone says "This is a terrible car, I'm not buying it," it doesn't mean they hate… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
