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President Quotes by Jay Leno

197 President quotes by Jay Leno

All President quotes Jay Leno’s page

Jay Leno offers a humorous take on presidents, mentioning hidden cash in Iraq and a former president’s high‑school marijuana habit. He jokes about political attacks on presidents and media ads that use tragic events. He also notes a terrorist plot that was foiled during a president’s term.

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Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: "Former president George Bush".

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President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was…

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President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

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President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.

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While President Bush was out of town Hillary Clinton stopped by the White House on Friday for an important meeting with her…

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President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.

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I think there's one more thing Perry can forget, too: Being president.

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Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America.

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Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge…

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Well, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is back - not for gays in the military. It's President Obama's new policy for questions about…

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As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his…

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President-elect Barack Obama is starting to get an idea of just how hard his new job is going to be. Today, he…

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I tell you, the economy is in bad shape. In fact, the economy is so bad, President Barack Obama's new slogan is…

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President Obama will be going to Disney World where he'll unveil his new plan to create jobs. And what better place for…

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While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government…

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Pundits are saying that President Obama is starting to lose support among his own party. To give you an idea of how…

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The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just…

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President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours.…

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I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show…

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John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he…

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In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war…

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There's this huge controversy over the fact that President Bush apparently received credit for National Guard service in Alabama in '72 and…

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Governor Gray Davis has asked the California state Supreme Court to delay the October recall vote because he says that's not enough…

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In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with…

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When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

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It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'

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Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare.

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When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!'

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The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.

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Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either.

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President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

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Another air traffic controller fell asleep on the job, but he had a good excuse. He was watching President Obama’s deficit speech.

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Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

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President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.

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President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

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According to CNN, Donald Rumsfeld said the war in Iraq did not go according to plan. And President Bush said, 'What? We…

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As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's…

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Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

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We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.

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President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden.

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More by Jay Leno

If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…

Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…

“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…

Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…

Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…

The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…

Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…

Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…

Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…