People Quotes by Jay Leno

Regulations force people to do better.

— Jay Leno

Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.

— Jay Leno

There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach…

— Jay Leno

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of…

— Jay Leno

65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

— Jay Leno

It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.

— Jay Leno

The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

— Jay Leno

Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I…

— Jay Leno

One thing about mildly dyslexic people - they're good at setting everything else aside to pursue one goal.

— Jay Leno

British scientists say they have developed a super broccoli that can help fight heart disease. You know, if you want to fight…

— Jay Leno

Major heat wave in India - 122 degrees today. It was so hot people in India were sweating like Americans waiting to…

— Jay Leno

President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's concerned there are too many loopholes and too many…

— Jay Leno

Even Arnold's adviser says he was shocked by his decision to run. I mean, his people were backstage that night and they…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a…

— Jay Leno

There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that…

— Jay Leno

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you…

— Jay Leno

Speaker John Boehner complained that Barack Obama ordered the U.S. military into combat in Libya without clearly defining the mission to the…

— Jay Leno

In People magazine, Madonna said her life has been exhausting since she started her world tour. She said there isn't a second…

— Jay Leno

I always tell new people in show business. I say, "Look, show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you're…

— Jay Leno

U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting…

— Jay Leno

In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with…

— Jay Leno

The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam…

— Jay Leno

Well, all across the country, this is kind of sad, unemployment offices are swamped with people waiting to file for unemployment insurance.…

— Jay Leno

This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said…

— Jay Leno

Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya,…

— Jay Leno

Starbuck's is going to start selling instant coffee. This is for people who want the quality of Sanka, but want to pay…

— Jay Leno

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

— Jay Leno

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white…

— Jay Leno

Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on…

— Jay Leno

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

— Jay Leno

President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again.

— Jay Leno

I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?

— Jay Leno

Kerry was here in Los Angeles. He was courting the Spanish vote by speaking Spanish. And he showed people he could be…

— Jay Leno

It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood…

— Jay Leno

Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people.

— Jay Leno

These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how…

— Jay Leno

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.

— Jay Leno

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?

— Jay Leno

President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.

— Jay Leno

Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.

— Jay Leno