People Quotes by David Sedaris

there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.

— David Sedaris

I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives.

— David Sedaris

I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.

— David Sedaris

Weird doors open. People fall into things.

— David Sedaris

In Paris you're always surrounded by French people.

— David Sedaris

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

— David Sedaris

Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two…

— David Sedaris

Famous people like to choose friends who won't go around repeating their conversations and details about them.

— David Sedaris

I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never…

— David Sedaris

In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried…

— David Sedaris

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

— David Sedaris

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their…

— David Sedaris

I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who…

— David Sedaris

Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be…

— David Sedaris

I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And…

— David Sedaris

The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for…

— David Sedaris

I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book…

— David Sedaris

I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me…

— David Sedaris

It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit…

— David Sedaris

Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who…

— David Sedaris

I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good…

— David Sedaris

There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And…

— David Sedaris

I was the type of person who was the question-asker. And not just genuine questions, I would ask a question so the…

— David Sedaris

I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy…

— David Sedaris

I’d always been afraid of sick people, and so had my mother. It wasn’t that we feared catching their brain aneurysm or…

— David Sedaris

I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person.…

— David Sedaris

The walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for…

— David Sedaris

She said, “I’m going to have you fired.” I had two people say that to me today, “I’m going to have you…

— David Sedaris

I'm friends with a lot of writers and so many of them say how much they hate signings and how they leave…

— David Sedaris

Traveling across the United States, it's easy to see why Americans are often thought of as stupid. At the San Diego Zoo,…

— David Sedaris

“If some people are “outed,” are other people “inned”? Can we say that someone has been “besided” or “overed”?”

— David Sedaris

A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.

— David Sedaris

Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.

— David Sedaris

They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in…

— David Sedaris

You know, when you need drugs and you don't have a lot of money, what you'll do is you'll hang out with…

— David Sedaris

Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always…

— David Sedaris

In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use…

— David Sedaris

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

— David Sedaris

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

— David Sedaris

I've wasted a lot of time pretending to be interested in people who weren't terribly interesting.

— David Sedaris