I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
You really burden the reader if you put things in but, "Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway." Then… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When someone tell me they illegally downloaded one of my audiobooks I think, Thanks a lot, Pal. When someone tells me they… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“In my book, if you want to be treated like an old person, you have to look like one. That means no… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There is a reason there is no such thing as a folk writer. But to be a writer you have learn what… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
You need to give the reader a reason to turn the page. In a diary, you are just yourself. You aren't trying… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I don't know how these couples do it, spend hours each night tucking their kids in, reading them books about misguided kittens… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a folk writer. There's no such thing as somebody who's never read a book before suddenly sitting… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
No one reads to hear someone complain about the weather or how poorly their children are behaving. You have to give the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm so old that when I started keeping a diary they were in actual books, and I think that's one the reasons… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a visual artist, but I realized I was more affected by what I read than by what I… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You spend hours wrestling with yourself, trying to keep your vision intact, your intensity undiminished. Sometimes I have to stick my head… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Humor is necessary - it allows the reader to come up for air before dunking them under again. I need humor and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Dad followed his I’m-So-Disappointed speech with a lecture on career opportunities. “You’re going to study literature and get a job doing what?”… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader…Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In books and movies infidelity always looks so compelling, so right. Here are people who defy petty convention and are rewarded with… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It really is torture to sit around the house and write all day. I’m thinking it might motivate me to finish the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share
I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:… — David Sedaris Copy Share
I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot… — David Sedaris Copy Share
