I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When someone tell me they illegally downloaded one of my audiobooks I think, Thanks a lot, Pal. When someone tells me they… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In books and movies infidelity always looks so compelling, so right. Here are people who defy petty convention and are rewarded with… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk movies, and I noticed… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Someone told me something recently about Sarah Palin, someone I trusted in the book business. They said, "I worked with Palin. She… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a folk writer. There's no such thing as somebody who's never read a book before suddenly sitting… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
We're not unique in our family. We're more ambitious but we're not special. I'm not funnier than anyone else in my family;… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm so old that when I started keeping a diary they were in actual books, and I think that's one the reasons… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share
I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:… — David Sedaris Copy Share
I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot… — David Sedaris Copy Share
