The idea of having a large family, I definitely had a romantic notion of it. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of -… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
When I'm in touch with the idea that there is a higher power and that there is, you know, other factors at… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Now the Thanksgiving meal is just so unnecessarily difficult. I mean even mashed potatoes - it's like the most difficult kind of,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I liked the idea that my character was not gonna be the typical dumb guy that I play, typically. I also loved… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
“Being a parent is a selfless adventure. The worldview of “Take care of yourself first” is no longer logical to a sane person if… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
“Occasionally, a dog will be presented as some training method for having a baby. "My girlfriend and I got a dog. We are going… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
