“Q. Why don't the British panic? A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I take the precaution of wearing proper, decent clothes when changing a light bulb in case I get zapped and die.” — Joyce Rachelle Copy Share Image
“My grandmother said, ‘It doesn’t really matter where you had to go, where you got the ring, or where you played the… — Vernon Davis Copy Share Image
“...and thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh,… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“Smoky knickers. Always said you were hot stuff,” he said. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at the same time.… — Annabeth Nash Copy Share Image
Humour is the most engaging cowardice. With it myself I have been able to hold some of my enemy in play far… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
“People have many cruel expectations from writers. People expect novelists to live on a hill with three kids and a spouse, people… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
“You were always grossly obese,' observed Stephen. 'Were you to walk ten miles a day, and eat half what you do in… — Patrick O'Brian Copy Share Image
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well. I'm definitely responsible for… — Eva Mendes Copy Share Image
“After the brightness of the morning, the interior of the pavilion seemed cool and dim. Stannis seated himself on a plain wooden… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“Ah,well," Said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. "I have it on good authority there's going to be a new 'gate' opening up… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“She shivered as he left her to go to the fire, and find water and cloths. He leaned into the light, and… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“There is nothing good in the devil and there is nothing bad in God and with God all things are possible .… — Patience Johnson Copy Share Image
“At no point during the making of this book have I inverted my penis although I did go to Blackpool which turned… — Matt Rudd Copy Share Image
I like doom and gloom with a sense of humour. Maybe it's a Scottish thing, we like to undercut indulgence with a… — Shirley Henderson Copy Share Image
“Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. That’s hardly athletic. Phallic and… — Jessica Park Copy Share Image
“I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their… — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
“Every discussion with a girl is an argument, and when you think you are right suddenly you realize that your trapped.” — Bharat Copy Share Image
“Light and dark ain't supposed to mix. They're like broccoli and chocolate - just nasty when you put them together - but… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
For a poet to depict a poet in poetry is a hazardous experiment; in regarding one's own trade a sense of humour… — Edward Dowden Copy Share Image
“That's enough!" Holly scrambled out of her seat, too. "My three-year-old behaves better than all of you." She looked down at LJ,… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“I remember Peyton [Manning] called me as soon as I got out to Denver. He started the conversation by asking me, ‘When… — Vernon Davis Copy Share Image
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“The man is an asshole." "You might say that, but you'd be maligning a part of the body that is of unquestioned… — Eleanor Arnason Copy Share Image
We seem to have lost our British sense of humour. It's a great shame. We have to be so careful nowadays; we… — David Jason Copy Share Image
“If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in… — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
“We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The nurses' job is emotional and distressing. Their day-to-day work is dealing with people withering and falling to pieces. So black humour… — Peter Capaldi Copy Share Image
“He was definitely taking his bodyguard duties seriously tonight. He gave off a take-one-step-closer-and-I-will-show-you-Armageddon vibe.” — Christina Henry Copy Share Image
“Now you're just being silly. He's a mercenary- he's not going to go about penning love letters, and really, what would he… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
I have inherited my father's sense of humour about myself. It's a lot more pleasant to make fun of yourself than when… — Stephen Sondheim Copy Share Image
“More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humour. I am proud that I have been able to… — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image