Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.' — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after… — Helen Rowland Copy Share Image
Marriage is a hunting permit that entitles you to only one dear at a time. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if… — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. — Jefferson Machamer Copy Share Image
I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women. — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
Its a funny thing that when a man hasnt anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space. — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, Youre only interested in one thing, and you cant remember what it is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife... — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it. — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage. — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard Copy Share Image
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
When you develop the ability to listen to anything unconditionally without losing your temper or self confidence, it means you're MARRIED — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful. — James E. Faust Copy Share Image
True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day. — James E. Faust Copy Share Image
Marriage is give and take. Youd better give it to her or shell take it anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. — David Niven Copy Share Image
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much. — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted. — Kin Hubbard Copy Share Image
When I get married. WE AIN'T NEVER GETTING A DIVORCE! TILL DEATH DO US PART. better take your mad ass in the… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
