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Portrait of Gene Perret

Gene Perret

(1937–2022) Comedy Writer United States

33 quotes in 214 categories

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Gene Perret was a comedy writer from the United States, best known for New Tricks for Old Dogs.

Quick Facts About Gene Perret

Born: April 3, 1937
Died: November 15, 2022
Nationality: United States
Profession: Comedy Writer
Notable works: New Tricks for Old Dogs

About Gene Perret

Gene Perret was an American comedy writer and producer. He won three Emmys for his work on The Carol Burnett Show. He worked for Bob Hope for 28 years. He wrote Hope’s television specials and USO Christmas tours. Perret died from liver failure on November 15, 2022, at the age of 85. He is interred at Valley Oaks Memorial Park.

Quotes by Gene Perret

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

Brain

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Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

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Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Age

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Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

Being a grandmother

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"You're more trouble than the children are" is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.

Being a grandma

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I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.

Best grandparents

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I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.

Children and grandchildren

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Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.

Best grandparents

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An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

Age

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Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

Bored

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Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take…

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I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to…

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It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the…

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We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed…

Funny

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My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

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My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.

Children

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Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

Age

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I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

Being a grandma

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I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

Breeze

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When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Age

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Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

Being a grandmother

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Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

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In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a…

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On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

Being a grandma

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What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

Bargains

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My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

Being a grandma

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Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

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Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.

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Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.

Education

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I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain.

Bargains

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Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

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I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Age

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Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

Age

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Gene Perret by topic

Grandparent (14) Parents and grandparents (13) Grandparents day (13) Grandmother (12) Grandchildren and grandparents (12) Funny grandparent (12) Children and grandchildren (12) Nana's and grandchildren (11) Grandchildren (11) Grandmother and grandchildren (10) Funny grandmother (10) Funny grandchildren (10)