Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible. — Asheya Copy Share Image
I just saw a fat girl crying while girls pointed & laughed at her. I thought ,She must be finding it hard… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when it's quiet in class and ur stomach decides to sound like a dying whale — Koaml Copy Share Image
Me: its so hot in here friend: should I leave? ;D me: no your actually the air conditioner — Francis Copy Share Image
Sex is like math: first you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't muliply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If A Couple In Love Are Called Love Birds, Then A Couple Who Have Fought With Each Other Should Be Called Angry… — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone isn't texting you back and then you see them update their status from Mobile.. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, men will listen to all your problems if you learned how to say thank you with a blowjob. — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says I'm so fat. and you stand there like. -__- — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Somtimes when I'm texting someone & dont feel like repeating myself I just FWD the message & makesure I delete the date,… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Call Of Duty will really have a guy thinking about joining the army...then you realize how many times you died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams should be given on either Facebook or on phone instead of sheets, ccuz today's students have more typing speed than writing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this how did you get in my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms are just like parents...they are there to protect you, but usually it's more fun when they're not around. — Carlos De'shawn Banks Copy Share Image
Obama's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches.' Romney's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches assuming that bitch can afford healthcare.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between doing a fist pump and looking like you're jacking off an invisible giant. — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
She: Do You Think Im Fat Now.? Me: No Baby, You Have Just Become My Teddy Bearfrom A Barbie Doll..!! ¥ — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink — Anonymous Copy Share Image
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
My friends ask me why I'm so serious, all I said Bitch, I just got surgery. If I laugh it'll hurt. All… — CJ Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything… — Aicel Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ghetto people always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford; Mercedes, Bentley, Pearl, Child support. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and Im still at work — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
