Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be… — Ronak Gurung Copy Share Image
There are some people who can't sleep because they have insomnia, I'm one of those people who can't sleep because they have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on… — Michael Lazarus Copy Share Image
Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it screwed you. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I've never felt this way about anyone before. - Every girl, literally every time they like a guy — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony…the rattle snake died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Females: I'ma slap that b*tch when I see her, she got me f**ked up! *Girl walks past. She lucky she ain't look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I watched a dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, Wow dogs are easily entertained Then I… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you and your friend s are playing hide and go seek so you go and hide and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, where theres an awkward moment, and everyone knows it's an awkward moment, then somebody says, AWWWKKKKWAAARRDD! — Unkown Copy Share Image
What's The Point Of Poking People On Facebook !? Is It Another Way Of Playing Tag Your It! — Krystal Copy Share Image
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I party like rock star , look like a movie star , play like a all star , f*** like porn star...baby I'm Superstar!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bitches b like long hair dont care known damn well they shit shorter than a Instagram video — IG:Catone_2funny Copy Share Image
Delete me... Like most of y'all who can't handle what I have to say :') Dont got time for any of y'all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All of a sudden she starts boasting about how high and big her boobs are, what she dosent know is that I… — Full Time Gangster Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.' — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For All Girls That Say All Guys Are The Same , Who Told Yhuueww To Try Them All . ? S T… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says wow you are a pervert , look at them, smile & say it took you this long to figure that out? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm just saying you're about 8 beers away from being my type. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God dwells inside of us like people say, I sure hope he's in themodd for Enchiladas, because that's what he's getting — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
Apparently, the answer 'I know.' is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed. — Ashley Copy Share Image
Teens in horror movies are so stupid you could strangle them dumbasses with a cordless phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the scariest things ever is flushing a toilet & seeing the water coming up instead of going down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
