Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when you're feeding a baby and you open up your mouth every time you give it a bite because you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We should watch a movie. And by 'watch a movie' I mean we should fuck each other senseless while a movie plays… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of my very close friends asked me -: Hey! Did you learn Arabic? And I replied . . . . . . . *ILLA* — Irfan Khan Copy Share Image
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman… Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
Dear inventors of Tampons, How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing breaks my heart like not getting comments on my funny status...women are even better than that. — Thabang Tshabalala Copy Share Image
As bored as someone sitting in a weird pub watching the landlord's cat licking its knob. — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
Sometimes you follow the rules, sometimes you break the rules, and sometimes, if you're lucky…you MAKE the rules!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I called my dad to tell him I was gonna quit drinking and he told me don't be a quitter!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Police have special ability from an ice. Whenever police say 'FREEZE!!' all people that they want will frozen — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still dont know what they said. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about Facebook is writing a quote and putting a random name at the end, people will still believe it~Abraham… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I might not live forever...so love me while you can..kiss me like its my last breathe, and tell me goodbye like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear 12 year olds on Facebook, how are you in a complicated relationship?! Did they steal your cookies? — Christine Ramkran Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says to me, Great minds think alike, I just look at them and think..You dirty little bastard!.:O — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see who's real and who's fake... — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Voice Command : Please say a command Me : Suck My Dick Voice Command: Command Not Recognized, Please Try Again — Chad Robinson Copy Share Image
Age 4: I love Mommy. Age 16: I HATE HER. Age 20: Mom was right Age 57: I wish my Mom was… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
