Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says to me, Great minds think alike, I just look at them and think..You dirty little bastard!.:O — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Voice Command : Please say a command Me : Suck My Dick Voice Command: Command Not Recognized, Please Try Again — Chad Robinson Copy Share Image
Age 4: I love Mommy. Age 16: I HATE HER. Age 20: Mom was right Age 57: I wish my Mom was… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't think I could ever stab someone...I can barely get the straw in the Capri-Sun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The next time a women says all men are dogs, ask her which breed her father is .. — Camille Cassie Govender Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still dont know what they said. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I might not live forever...so love me while you can..kiss me like its my last breathe, and tell me goodbye like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about Facebook is writing a quote and putting a random name at the end, people will still believe it~Abraham… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear 12 year olds on Facebook, how are you in a complicated relationship?! Did they steal your cookies? — Christine Ramkran Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
