Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was going to post a status,but then I remebered I have family on facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I gave a fuck, I would have $0. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She watch Titanic for the love story. I watch it for one scene with boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My pokemon's brings all the nerds to the yard, and there like, Do you wanna trade cards damn right I wanna trade… — Syoung Copy Share Image
There are three things human absolutely cannot do in this world . 1. Counting their hair . 2. Speaking during swallowing 3.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't waste your life living in a $100,000 apartment when you can live under a $15 million dollar bridge. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Im so indie, she thinks to herself as she puts the lyrics to Skinny Love as her Facebook status. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That little pissed off feeling you get when a girl calls you cute. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do people always think that I'm flirting with them? I just call it being nice. — Syoung Copy Share Image
I feel the tears slowly rolling down my eyes and suddenly the tears wont stop. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well I guess I have to go to rehab because apparently I'm addicted to you. — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
I always eat 10 more cookies than what I intentionally want to eat. — Matt Pangilinan Copy Share Image
If Olive Oil iS Made from OLIVES… then what iS BABY oil made of!?????? Poor Babies. — Syoung Copy Share Image
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I told her 'the winning ones — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to glew my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
