Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. We text or call to say we're outside. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I follow the quote, Always be true to yourself because I only lie to others — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down.… — Author Name Copy Share Image
Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what they were talking about... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um...… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To me you're like FACEBOOK, Id always love to FACE you than facing a book.. — Joanne Lobedica Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When someone say's I like your shirt.. I look down to see what I'm wearing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seeing someone with a bangin' body! but an ugly face and getting so devistated! — Zendy Copy Share Image
I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dating your exes again are just like shopping at your own garage sale. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The reason why am here it's because mum and sent me to school to Facebook!!! — Paperboi Copy Share Image
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
