Police should arrest people tweeting under the influence of stupidity. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bitch, you're a booty call stop putting your relationship status as it's complicated — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex...I was just thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I Promise You I Will Be Here To The Very End I'll Never Leave You Can Turn To Me For Anything. When… — Zariahh Renee Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. — Jenny_pajaron Copy Share Image
I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only thing that has changed over the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear women drivers, Please take up only one lane and not two. You're driving too slow and this makes it too hard… — Paul Nelson Copy Share Image
When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss! — Jorge Armenta Copy Share Image
Liking ur own status on face book is like giving urself a high five in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade; if it hands you tomatoes, make vegetable stew. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Boy; Wait! Don't step on it! Girl; Why? Boy; Coz when mommy does, she cries — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kindness : I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Remember when she cancels a date she has to. But...when he cancels a date he has two. — Danish Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
