Gay people are such great dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you relize you've been singing the wrong lyrics to your favorite song, when you google & read the… — Syoung Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Person: So what are you going to be for Halloween? You: Well I was wondering if I could borrow the mask youre… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always thought an Oxymoron was an idiot addicted to synthetic heroin until I Googled it...lol — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And… — Raymond Estrada Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
