Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
China is only winning the Olympics because they made all the equipment... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever said nothing is impossible...Never tried to staple water to a tree. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Call Of Duty will really have a guy thinking about joining the army...then you realize how many times you died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
11 year olds today are like: 'Omg I love smokin pot. I get like so drunk. Yolo!' Me when I was 11:… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Going to the toy store, pressing the 'TRY ME' button on a toy and it wont stop...So you just awkwardly walk away… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Birth control pills should probably be made for men. Doesn't it make more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ghetto people always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford; Mercedes, Bentley, Pearl, Child support. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I fake sleep when my family members come in my room so they dont talk to me — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who ever says words can't hurt you has never got hit in the face with a dictionary! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony…the rattle snake died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Delete me... Like most of y'all who can't handle what I have to say :') Dont got time for any of y'all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm just saying you're about 8 beers away from being my type. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teens in horror movies are so stupid you could strangle them dumbasses with a cordless phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
