When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So first it was The end of the world now it's zombie appocalypse,What's next? Dinosaurs are going to rise up and eat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Lehme gedda uh' = I would like to order something from your fine establishment, but I have to make up my mind first. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HARRY POTTER CONDOMS: In case you need an invisibility cloak for your wand while entering the chamber of secrets so you don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sex is like a gas station, sometimes you get full service, sometimes you gotta ask for service and sometimes you have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hurricanes are like women. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is a great idea. Put 6 locks on your door all in a row,and lock every other one when ya go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teen: Has sex, does drugs, bad grades Parent: Just don't do it again! ok? Teen: Doesn't do chores. Parent: YOU CHILD ARE… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do you want to make money from Facebook? It's easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A guy sitting with his girlfriend, drinking beer says, "I love you". Girl asks "Is it you or the beer talking?". Boy… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when the teacher points at the person behind you and you think the teacher was pointing at you so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are 2 types of Indians the ones that dance around with feathers on their head or the ones with the red… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want to get your children's attention, just look real comfortable, talk on the phone,or try to have a conversation with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I drive if you beep your horn 1 second after the light changes green I will shut off my car, lay… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Earlier I received a phone call from a PPI Telemarketer. So I told my 3 year old son that Santa Claus was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says Look, a dead bird. Blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE, WHERE? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
