Police have special ability from an ice. Whenever police say 'FREEZE!!' all people that they want will frozen — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, youre popular on facebook? Thats cool. I mean, these days its easy to have 1,500 friends that youve never met before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They always say so many people die of Alcohol. Perhaps they never realized many of them were born beacuse of Alcohol!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a man fall off his bike this morning. he looked around to see if anyone saw his fall. I made… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your friends and family are singing happy birthday and you are just standing there smiling … — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ramps have been employed to look in the bins along the marathon route in London for suspicious packages. They will be paid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams should be given on either Facebook or on phone instead of sheets, ccuz today's students have more typing speed than writing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says to me, Great minds think alike, I just look at them and think..You dirty little bastard!.:O — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a profile picture has two ppl in it, the profile belongs to the uglier one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of appearing together in a Facebook profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans, I...Can't...Breathe! Sincerely, Your Balls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: Pussy SON: I Don't Get It... DAD: EXACTLY! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No man should ever make eye contact with another man while eating a banana or lollipop... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China. Except for babies. They are made in VaChina. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says expect the unexpected, slap them and say I bet you didn't expect that! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What does it show when your popular on facebook... Shows you have no life — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
